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features >> quick 5

Quick 5: Games By Acclaim That Sucked

Yeah, I know what you're probably thinking: how could there be "just" 5 games from Acclaim that sucked? Well, I had to pick five, and these were pretty bad. As you may remeber, I did a list last time of the five good games Acclaim published, so for equal time, here's the five crappy ones. Enjoy!

Vanishing Point (PS1)

While the Dreamcast version of VP was frustrating as hell, at least the game had some decent visuals to fall back on. On the PS1, however, things don't fare so well for this game. Released in 2000, VP looked like a first-gen PS1 title. On top of that, the controls were even more busted than how they were on the Dreamcast, turning a frustrating game into a downright irritating one. I won't say that this is the worst Acclaim had to offer, but it was terribly disappointing, and it shows how much quality control they employed before releasing a game.

Anything With The Olsen Twins (Many Systems)

I've never played an Olsen twin game, and I hope I never will. I can see what the twins want to pull off here: a game aimed specifically at a female audience. But come on, the games seem like nothing more than a mindless set of mini-games. It's like whoever developed these titles decided that girls won't play anything complex or something that has depth. There are many games that feature lead female characters: the Metroid series is one of them. So why is it necessary to degrade girls with the notion that all they can do is play short, oversimplistic minigames? Bad move, Acclaim.


You really have to wonder why Acclaim had to mess with a fairly solid game franchise, and totally throw it all away. Rather than making Dave Mirra BMX 3, Acclaim had the bright idea of "spicing" things up a bit, by removing all the pro riders, replacing it with strip clubs, profanity and unfunny crude humor. While the core design was still DMF BMX 2, it didn't help out the game with worse graphics and writing. The game had about as much appeal and class as a reality dating show with Flavor Flav. This really marked the beginning of Acclaim's downfall, because one bad decsision always leads to another.

Rise Of The Robots (SNES)

Why in holy hell would you make a fighting game where you can't select your fighter? Sure, maybe the CG modelling looked good at the time, but a nice looking game doesn't make a good playing one. Perhaps one of the worst fighting games to be released, Rise Of The Robots is a meaningless steaming pile of dog crap that Drop Dead Fred smeared all over your mother's white sofa. As obscure as that refrence was, so this game shall be.

Total Recall (NES)

What else needs to be said about this game? It's historically bad, a gem that's been encrusted in the fecal matter of dinosaurs for years, polished to a dull brass shine. Yeah, it was a bad licensed game, but a questionable decision at that. Why would you make an R-rated movie into a game on a platform that was targeted at young audiences (note that there was no real "mature" market for games in 1990)? Why wasn't it even 10% faithful to the material? How did Acclaim manage to stay in business for 14 more years after this game? Like how many licks it takes to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.