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features >> what the hell am i doing?

Written By Shaun McCracken

February 10, 2005

I'm trying something a little new and different here on BlueStorm. Some may call it a desperate attempt for cheap laughs, some may say that this is just a waste of space on the world wide web, space that could be better used for porn. But I digress. This new feature is called "What The Hell Am I Doing?", a look into exactally what the hell I'm doing in the games I play. Everybody plays games differently, some more uniqely than others. I am no different. So I will share my "unique" experiences in the games I play, because it's selfish to hog it all to myself.

Episode 1: Lindsay Lohan Visits Animal Crossing

A couple a months ago I finally broke down and picked up Animal Crossing for the Gamecube. When I first began playing the game, I didn't think too much of it, and it seemed like it would be something that would be shelved the next day, to be untouched for months. But I gave it a few more tries, and before you know it, I was addicted to the game like Kirstie Alley and a crate of Ding-Dongs (hows THAT for topical humor!). There was a lot more to the game than just walking up to polygonal animals and see if they can get their used hankees back from mooching koala bears. There's a great deal of customization in the game.

It goes just beyond spastically moving furniture around your house like a couple on Trading Spaces who just freebased crack (BlueStorm Online Gaming Magazine does not condone the use of drugs, especially sweet, sweet crack). You can change the "town song", even take a popular song and make it like an Animal Crossing ringtone. You can stick trees, flowers and other outdoor things wherever you want outside, and it will pretty much stick around (some things I've planted oddly disappeared after a day or two). But best of all, you can create a pattern to wear, post on your door, or post on a sign.

But you're probably wondering why the hell that's so great. Well, perhaps I'm more easily amused than you, or maybe you just feel like acting like a jackass in insulting me, whatever suits you. My first "pattern" was a little weak, but fairly amusing. In a simple white backround, I wrote the word "MILF" in blue paint, in honor of Britney Spears. Because, you know, she's a "MILF in training" (thanks VH-1!). Amusing it was to see this applied to my clothing and posted on my door, but I wanted to do something better (and even more amusing).

So, I downloaded the AnicroDesapro off the internet (I forgot the web address, but I think you can find it through the Animal Crossing Community), which converts JPG images into palattes offered in Animal Crossing. I thought of how funny it would be to take an image of someone and place it into Animal Crossing. The first person I thought of was Lindsay Lohan. So, I ran the image I had of her from the internet (her face, anyway) into the AnicroDesapro, and chose the pallate which would display the image the best.
I downloaded the design tool from Animal Crossing into my GBA, and re-created the image from the tool. It took about an hour or so to create the image, because of the complexity of the pattern (it almost reminded me of playing Mario's Picross). When I began creating the image, it didn't even look like Lohan, but when I had finally finished, I was suprised how well the image turned out.

So after I finally finished the image, I uploaded it back into the Gamecube from my GBA. I first applied the image to my clothing, which was pretty funny, as her face was a bit distorted on the hat. Then I applied it to my door. That was a good laugh. But then I bought a sign post from Tom Nook, and plastered her face next to the train station, and placed another sign of her near the water fountain. It's pretty damn funny to walk around my town and see Lindsay Lohan's face on a sign, and it's even funnier to think that this was even possible. So now everytime I go into my town, I always have a special appearance by Miss Lohan. I can't but help think that when I finish my game, the animals of the town have candlelight altars in front of the Lohan signs, and start singing "I'm sick of rumors starting, I'm sick of being followed".

What the hell am I doing, indeed. And a big thanks to the creator of the AniCroDesapro tool, for which this feature may have not come to be.

*Lindsay Lohan™, Trading Spaces™, Britney Spears™, VH-1™, Kirstie Alley™, Ding Dongs™, and crack™ do not endorse the content of this writing.