Past-Gen. Consoles

features >> top 11
Top 11 Games That Wouldn't Sell

written by Shaun McCracken

This is the first "Top 11" list I did for the previous website I had back in 2003. As you can see, it's a lot worse than the newer lists I've done. But you wanted to see it, so it's your funeral. Ok, I admit, some of these are still funny.

1. Dead Or Alive : Xtreme Elderly Volleyball - Now with "Sagging Breast" technology.

2. Campaign Thunder 2004 - Strap yourself in for the campaign ride of your life! Engage in hot debates, revel in the heat of mud-slinging and spend your way to the oval office!

3. Smell My Finger! - The childhood classic returns!

4. Janitorial Frontline Assult - What appears to be a normal supermarket is a breeding ground of unsanitary terrorists. Fight your way through broken jars of tomato sauce, and clean up the kid vomit in aisle three before others smell it, and get that reaction to vomit. Then make haste to the overflowing crap in the restroom before it makes it's way into produce. Action at it's best.

5. Pencil Sharpener 2 - With the all new "pen in the electric sharpener" scenario, this is the most complete pencil sharpening sim yet!

6. Unbalanced Washerload Racing - Load up the old Kenmore with shoes, blankets and anything else in your arsenal to become the king of the unbalanced load!

7. Butterknife In The Toaster - From the makers of "Foil Gum Wrapper In Plug Outlet" comes the next shocking installment of this electrifying series.

8. Sim Trailerpark - Learn to manage crack-whores and meth-junkies to please the elderly shut-ins, survive tornadoes, and maximize Jerry Springer appearances in this enthralling sim.

9. Cat Crap Minesweeper - Clear out the safe spaces and don't step on the burried cat sh*t!

10. Need For Weed - Choose from over 30 well-detailed bongs and toke in 7 pleasing environments ranging from the parent's basement to the alley. ALL NEW HOT PURSUIT MODE! Get hopped up on dope and outrun the police in you 86 Celebrity for absolutley no reason at all!

11. I Can Hear Them Doin' It - Wander the apartment complex, and listen through each door to see who's doin' it! (What do you expect, this was the last one, and it's 3:05 in the morning!)